Archive for discipline
I hate shots…
I remember when I was growing up and those infamous visits to the pediatrician’s office. I remember my doctor’s name - Dr. Amos, whose office was located near Moses Cone Hospital in Greensboro - and I remember that the only cool thing about going to his office were the “Highlights” magazines and all the germ-infested toys you’d get to play with before you get called back. Other than that, I don’t have fond memories of those experiences…probably because most the time I could barely breathe due to my asthma and there were always those inevitable shots. Remember?
Yesterday, Molly and I took Julia to her pediatrician, Dr. Van Winkle, for her 6-month check-up - who, along with the cool name is also a really great guy; oh yeah, and his first name is ‘Chris,’ and his wife’s name is ‘Molly,’ further affirming for us that he was the right choice as far as pediatricians were concerned. (Thanks Matt and Whitney for putting the bug in our ear about the other Chris & Molly in Greensboro!) Now, something I’ve actually grown to hate about these visits are the shots, which I do actually believe hurt me worse than they do Julia. She gets the first shot, and by the time she realizes how bad it hurts, we’re already on the third. Her face inevitably turns beet-red and I always start getting a little worried after she hasn’t breathed for a few seconds. It’s excruciating for us and for her. Goes to show that pediatrician’s offices don’t get much better.
I was reading through Hebrews 12 the other day and was reminded of something that yesterday’s experience once again brought into light. It’s a difficult thing for a parent to allow their children to go through any kind of suffering or pain - and most of the time, we’ll keep them from it at all costs. However, there are those times when it becomes absolutely necessary for the well-being of the child and it can become a detrimental thing for them in the long run to avoid it. Like shots. Now, I won’t go into a parenting “how-to” here, mostly due to my inexperience as a parent, but consider the discipline of a child. Whether you’re a proponent of spanking or time-out, it could probably be agreed upon easily that no discipline can ultimately be destructive. And if this is the case, we could probably agree that there is some pain and suffering that is absolutely necessary for out good.
Now, think of all the ways in life we tend to avoid pain and suffering, as if it’s something totally opposite to the Christian journey. In fact, Jesus totally makes clear that pain and suffering and discipline are all a part of the Way. But in the end, there’s the hope of our transformation, redemption, restoration…
No discipline (pain and suffering) is enjoyable while it is happening - it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. _Hebrews 12:11
So as we were walking out of the office yesterday and I told Julia, “one day you’ll probably come to despise this place.” And she probably will. But I also know the peace I have in standing there as her dad and watching her go through this pain is because of it’s necessity for her. It’s for her good. What a great reminder that when I’m going through difficult times of my own (whether of my own choosing or not) that my Father is standing right there, not because He loves shots or with some kind of twisted desire for my pain and suffering, but with what will come out of it for me…
Thanks, BT, for our conversation about this a few months ago. Thanks to you, I’ve been able to open my eyes while Julia gets her shots now.
resolutely…
Recently, I taught what turned out being a 2-part series (and should have been a 3-part series) titled, When Jesus Comes to Town based on the account of the Triumphal Entry in Luke 19 and the events leading up to it. Over the past few weeks/months, I’ve been absolutely captured by this thought (which begins in Luke 9:51) concerning Jesus resolutely setting out for Jerusalem. It’s almost as if I can see Jesus’ face, taking Him to Jerusalem, to His death, to our redemption. That’s what Jesus was resolutely set out to do. As John Eldredge puts it, there is no more dangerous man than the one who has reckoned with his own death.
To get a picture of what this looks like, I believe it’s helpful to go back to Isaiah 50:7, and the prophecy of what God’s Messiah would come to do: Because the Sovereign Lord helps me…I have set my face like a stone (or ‘flint’ as most versions put it), determined to do His will -NLT. Something I find fascinating about this language here is the word flint, which translates to the root word in Hebrew, halam which also means to dream. In other words, we might find this passage saying I have set my face like a dream or toward a dream.
Which raises a great question here for all of us: What is God’s dream, His vision for our lives? Do we know what it is? Is that what my face is resolutely set toward?
If you were to try to picture Jesus setting his face resolutely toward Jerusalem, what if you could envision Jesus - face like flint - set out toward a dream of what you and I could truly become? What if this became personal? I believe this is exactly what Jesus came to do, liberating us from our limitations and freeing us to become the person that only God has dreamed of us becoming. We know all too well how people around us try to shape us into the vision and dreams they have for us, which can be so limited. We also know how the world around us can try to conform us into what it believes we should become. We know this because we, in some way, do it every single day…and we can feel when God’s dream is being taken away, whether we realize it for what it truly is or not.
One of the things I’ve been doing the last month or so to help me have my face resolutely set like Jesus has been to ask God to continue to clarify His dream and vision for my life. In fact, I’ve been asking Him to do that for a couple of years now. I’m not sure if you’ve ever asked God for this in your own life, but if you have, perhaps you’ve gained some real clarity on what that is. For others (like myself), maybe you’ve struggled to hear anything specifically at all.
It can be frustrating to get up in the morning (sometimes every morning) and not know what your face is resolutely set out toward in life. I desperately want my face and the faces of those around me to resolutely be set out toward God’s dream and vision for our lives. But I believe the better question is not simply asking what God’s vision is for my life. Rather, I believe the better question we have to wake up to every day is this: God, what is your vision, your dream for the people and the world around me, and how can I give my life to that? How can I set my face resolutely to that kind of dream?
Perhaps there’s some kind of explanation here as to why we have so much trouble figuring out what God’s dream is for us. Maybe we’re asking the right question the wrong way.
Since Julia was born over 6-months ago, I’ve been asking God to show me His vision for her life. My hope is that as her parents, Molly and I will resolutely love her into God’s future, His dream for her. What if we loved people like that? Could that be God’s primary dream for your life and mine, that we help move people around us toward His dream for their lives?
What is your face resolutely set toward? What is God dreaming?
Getting Better: a hard lesson in discipline
Several months ago, my friend Nick did a painting he called “Getting Better.” I’ll never forget it. It was a simple piece, with a sole tree with green leaves and sunshine - a peaceful setting. You know - one of those places you imagine having a picnic.
Over the past few months, I found myself in a place where I’ve felt like I’ve been doing all I could do just to hold things together. Do you know what I’m talking about here? A place in life where you feel like your head is barely above the water most days, where you’re a mile wide but only an inch deep, where you feel like you’re losing some part of yourself that you don’t feel would be that beneficial, where it’s sometimes hard to breathe, hard to get out of bed, where things are just - simply put - ‘off’ for you.
By the way, if you’ve found yourself in a rut like this before, I believe one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves (and believe) is “things will eventually get better.” Yeah, maybe so, but I also believe that we (Jesus-followers) are given a spirit to do something about it. (see 2 Timothy 1:7)
Let me be honest here (which I try to be all that time anyway): Since my daughter Julia was born in September, I’ve had such little consistency in my days. (For those of you who are parents, you probably know what I’m talking about) And I haven’t adjusted to it very well. Although I’d consider myself to be adventurous, I do like structure in my day…and I’ve literally had none.
So, the question has been looming for some time now: How do I care for my wife, my daughter, my relationships with family and friends, our church…if I can’t even take care of myself all that well?
A few weeks ago, all of this started to come together for me and I started to hear what I believe to be the systemic issue to what’s been - or not been - going on in my life. I finally realized by listening to all the voices going on around me that I simply wasn’t living a very disciplined life anymore. I’ve felt like I’ve been falling apart and haven’t known why.
Discipline. There’s the word. This took me back to a book I read a few years ago in seminary titled “Spiritual Disciplines” by Donald Whitney, and I’ve remembered this quote for several years…Discipline leads to freedom. In other words, freedom is the reward of discipline. As Proverbs 25:28 says, “A person without self-control (or self-discipline) is like a city with broken down walls.”
So the question becomes, How can we care for others well if we can’t care for ourselves well? Notice, this isn’t saying, “I can’t care for others until I’ve cared for myself.” I believe this is a lie. This is not about self-help. This is about coming under God’s control for the purpose of caring for others well. Don’t miss this.
Last week, I finally sat down and did something with the help of my wife that I want to share with you. It’s called a “Life-Plan.” I’m not exactly sure where I came across this concept, but over a year ago, my friend Gary Combs helped me put my first “Life-Plan” together. In short, it’s simply a way to build your daily schedule around the things that you give value to or that you want to give more value to. One of many ways to discipline your life. Click Here to see a copy of mine.
I’d encourage you to develop your own “Life-Plan.” Take time on it. Be creative. What you put your time and energy into is what you’ll give value to. Also, I encourage you to email me if I can help you in any way with this.
Added 03/28/08: Here’s a great place to get started. Begin this process by asking yourself some questions (from ShawnLovejoy.com)
Do I get up at the same time every morning?
Am I overweight?
Do I have any addictions (caffeine, sugar, porn, etc.) right now?
Do I take a day off from working every week?
Have I taken a vacation in the last year? That wasn’t mixed with work?
Is my email inbox near empty right now?
Is my office and car clean or a mess?
Am I usually on time or late for things?
If I tell someone I’ll call them, do I do it?
Do I spend time with God every day?
If married, do I have a consistent date night with my spouse?
Do I have a hobby I enjoy consistently?
How often do I exercise?
How much TV do I watch?
What does my appearance say about my level of discipline (hair, clothes, etc.)?
Do I eat right?
Do I have a lot of debt?
Do I ever say: “When things slow down, I’m going to_______”
Thanks to Shawn Lovejoy, Pastor of Mountain Lake Church near Atlanta, for being the the voice that brought all this together for me…
Chris Shelton resides in Greensboro with his wife, Molly, their daughter, Julia, and Baby #2 due in March...
